redeemed by Your sacrifice

have been moping around this week. fidgetty. it's been unnerving and frustrating trying to sort out what's been on my mind. trying to focus. have been struggling with some sins which were really bothering me the past week; and to add to the " craziness", got stuck in the rut with 'that' old problem again. as i read through my past entries in my diary ( or doodly book)" which i kept in jc, couldn't help sighing. yes, I've grown in certain aspects since then, but sometimes i really feel as if I'm perpetually stuck in the adolescent stage! =x. so sad. you know, it's like freud's explanation of adolescent behaviour- if you do not move on from a certain developmental phase, you'll encounter fixation/ stagnation, and you'll regress to the lowest form of development ( maybe like curl up on the floor like a feotus) where you feel the safest by applying certain defense mechanisms ( eg. denial etc ). ( disclaimer: I'm not a proponent of frued! haa~ just find his psychoanalytic theories pretty intriging)

what am i doing? feel as if i'm in yet another identity crisis. yes, i know that my identity is found in Him, but who am i really? what is the basis behind what I do? What goes through my mind when i do stuff? do i want to gain acceptance? or do i sincerely want to do the things i do for His glory?

but anyways, even though i guess i still have to figure who i really am as 'myself', as a Christian etc, was really grateful that in spite of my lack of focus and sinful self, God redeems me from my sinful nature. Am really thankful for yesterday's bible study of Romans 8: 1-17 during CG. ( * Thank you meisi for making it so interactive! =P ) And I wanna thank Shawna too ( if you're reading this) for really reminding me that Jesus has already paid the price for our past, present and future sins and that if repentance has already been sought, then I should trust that He has redeemed me, and that He will continue to guide me along the way in spite of my sinful nature.

as i read romans again today, really marvelled at God's omnipotence- He's so powerful! He's so powerful that He makes it so simple for us to go back to Him, as long as we accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour. He's so powerful cause although we are like chaffs in the wind, God cbose to send Jesus as a living sacrifice. Just for us so that we can be with Him in eternity! All we have to do is believe in Him . It's amazing. Simply great to get back to the basics. Reminds me of really the wonder and beauty of the Christian faith.

find that it was just so apt when i was translating romans 8: 9-11 yesterday. reread it and am so encouraged by it!

I thank God for overcoming death and sin! God, you're victorious!

Also reminded that in overcoming the struggle against sin, it is not determinant by my own strength. " It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy. " ( Romans 9: 16)

Am really thankful for such a wonderful Saviour!!! =)


" You, however, are controlled not by the sinful nature but by the spirit, if the spirit of God lives in You....But if Christ is in you,your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in You, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit, who lives in you." Romans 8:9-11