surrender
have you had the experience of talking to someone who appears to be listening to you but glancing distractedly at the things around? have you ever felt distanced whist walking along with your best friends? have you ever had the feeling that someone was witholding their dearest thoughts and feelings from you despite them telling you it was the 'whole truth'? I have.
And I think God must have been feeling this way about me these past few days.
Distracted. Disinterested. Delsusional. Depressed.
Pretty much describes me for the past two to three days.
Been feeling completely out of focus during worship at the conference. I wish I could say it was solely a result of my tiredness ( have had 13 hour days at the conference .bleargh) but i know there's much more to that.
The Lord knew my heart and showed just that when a friend from vcf prayed that i would surrender all to Him. the thing was; I hardly knew that girl. It really struck me for the rest of the day yesterday. Before I went to bed, I recalled how the Lord had used this method of telling me to surrender to Him as well in JC, when my cell group mate would just be prompted to pray for me on that similar issue.
Been thinking. Think i have an inkling of what's on my mind. what's keeping me from Him-but i'm afriad of what it may be. Thought i had gotten over that whole saga. Really don't want to go there again.
I'm afraid. yes, I think I'm afraid of surrendering to Him. I'm afraid of digging and rumaging the old baggages i thought i had left behind. I'm afraid to having to do things I've never done before. Afraid and Unsure, I am.
Happened to read through my notebook and stumbled upon one of my sporadically written entries in it last year. scribbled these few lines in it- thing i was trying to compose a song/poem off hand. spoke volumes of how i was feeling that day. think i'm reliving it today, almost a year later. funny how man keeps slipping away from God despite having the knowledge and understanding of His love and sovereignty.
And I think God must have been feeling this way about me these past few days.
Distracted. Disinterested. Delsusional. Depressed.
Pretty much describes me for the past two to three days.
Been feeling completely out of focus during worship at the conference. I wish I could say it was solely a result of my tiredness ( have had 13 hour days at the conference .bleargh) but i know there's much more to that.
The Lord knew my heart and showed just that when a friend from vcf prayed that i would surrender all to Him. the thing was; I hardly knew that girl. It really struck me for the rest of the day yesterday. Before I went to bed, I recalled how the Lord had used this method of telling me to surrender to Him as well in JC, when my cell group mate would just be prompted to pray for me on that similar issue.
Been thinking. Think i have an inkling of what's on my mind. what's keeping me from Him-but i'm afriad of what it may be. Thought i had gotten over that whole saga. Really don't want to go there again.
I'm afraid. yes, I think I'm afraid of surrendering to Him. I'm afraid of digging and rumaging the old baggages i thought i had left behind. I'm afraid to having to do things I've never done before. Afraid and Unsure, I am.
Happened to read through my notebook and stumbled upon one of my sporadically written entries in it last year. scribbled these few lines in it- thing i was trying to compose a song/poem off hand. spoke volumes of how i was feeling that day. think i'm reliving it today, almost a year later. funny how man keeps slipping away from God despite having the knowledge and understanding of His love and sovereignty.
O Lord, hear me now
Hear my cries
Be beside me
To cleanse me from within.
O Lord, hear me now
Be with me
Wash away my sin
You are my closest kin.
Surrender
That's what I wanna do
To be complete in You,
You alone.
Lord send revival, Start with me.
For I am born of unclean lips
For my eyes have seen the King,
Your glory I have glimpsed.
Send revival, Start with me.
posted by fLo at 23:25
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